A Splash of Color

So...1 allergic reaction to the ear drops, 1 set of stronger painkillers (when the doctor says "Woah" when you say what painkiller youre on...it MUST be good.) , and 2 trips to the hospital...I feel better now. I hope I NEVER have to do that again.

The Ear nose and throat specialist literally vaccuummed infection out of my ear and then packed it full of gauze with a new set of eardrops. Lovely. I have to go back in tomorrow.

I am now headed to the hospital. The pain on the right side of my face is so bad that I just cannot cope anymore. Not to mention that its thick and swollen around my ear to an area about the size of my hand.

Fuck this is going to be expensive. My poor husband, he is SO worried.

I just want the pain to stop.

Someone put me out of my misery....or cut my ear off, either will do. Just so that the pain stops.

My right ear is swollen shut and the flesh around it is red and painful to the touch. I can't hear, and I can't move because every movement hurts. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!

I have to go to the doctor today, without insurance, I can't go through another day of this. I woke up at 6 am, crying because it hurt so bad.

EDIT: I thought Richard knew about it and just hadn't told me...He did not. Not his fault. Not pissed off anymore.

I have decided, this is the last time that this happens.

The next time that I have to explain to a small boy why he can't have lekkers, because I didn't know I needed to buy treats for him today. Why he only has a normal lunch, when all the other kids will have special lunches because there's nothing else in the house that he can take with him to school that the teachers wont take away from him (because I didn't know I needed them today).

Only to find out that not only is today a special fun day for him at school that he has only a half day of school today which means I have to rearrange everything that I had PLANNED for the day because now I can't do them because I'll have a small boy pestering me... So now i have to get all my errands run before 1:00 because thats when he gets off of school, and I Didn't know. Noone told me!

The NEXT time it happens Mommy goes on strike. I AM TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE BAD GUY!!!
Argh!

Conversation I had with boyo this morning...

Mommy You need to wash dishes"
"why do I need to wash dishes?"
"You're home all day"
"But you make most of the dirty dishes"
"y-yes"
"Why should I have to wash them?"
"Uhh..."
"shouldn't you wash them since they're yours?"

*Insert completely dumbfounded 9 year old*

I can't help it, I thought it was SO funny.

Edited for the Diane being a dork. Sorry I was just trying to take notes for something World of Warcraft related and I ended up posting it.

Wish me luck, I am going to ride my bicycle 15K to Enschede tomarrow. I think my ass might rise up and murder me.

I am tired of being all alone during the day. I want some attention!

Unfortunatly the people that used to pay attention to me are far away. Several of them stopped paying attention to me a long time ago, and You know what. I resent it. It makes me angry. Am I jealous? Yes. Of every single one of you that gets social contact outside of your S.O.

At least when Richard gets home I'll have someone to cuddle...even if he does think I'm a bit clingy.
*sigh*

Let me get this straight....

You leave without your wife who is stuck in the house all week, to go to town, to go shopping. She comes downstairs in her bathrobe as you and small boy are getting on your bikes ready to go, and asks what's going on. Your response is "You said you didn't want to go"
No. Your wife would NEVER Have said that, considering she's stuck in the house all the time. You then say that you did talk to her, when you got up at ~7 ish this morning. When she was STILL SLEEPING!!!!! It's not valid when SHE talks to YOU while you're sleeping, but it's ok for YOU to do it to HER. WTF? When she says "But I do want to go..." and your response is to close the door in her face with a soft "We'll talk about it later."

You WONDER why she's angry at you for leaving her behind.
You don't have much consideration for her feelings do you?

Happy Birthday Rory!
*snuggle*

There is a small boy who is wearing my socks. He's 9, I'm 24 and he's wearing my socks. Why? Because he physically cannot put his socks on anymore, they won't go over his heels.

Gods he has big feet. Just like his father.

I am full of donner and spicy fried potatos. My husband vaccuumed the house and I got to spend parts of the afternoon cleaning the grass out of our backyard brickwork. My butt is sore from the bike ride we took the other day doing something called Geocaching.I'm cuddled up with someone handsome watching the discovery channel right now. It's a shame that his face is all cut up, the stitches do not look good on him. I have pergamenta to play with later, and things to paint.
We still have an ant problem but that soon enough solved I hope.

Life is good.

Small boy went to school without lunch today. I gave him the option, "eat the sandwich you didn't eat yesterday now...or no lunch"
And WHY didn't he eat it? "I like them but I like them when they're folded in half, this one wasn't" My responce "Then why didn't you fold it in half and eat it?" He just stared at me. and walked out the door. I made him stop because I was asking him a question, and he growled "No!" "Youre not going to eat it so you don't want lunch?" "Noo.."

And what do I have to do half an hour after sending him to school? I have to make a special lunch for him because they're going to the Hulsbeek for a special easter party that I had no knowledge of. He came home at 845 with a little yellow piece of paper, he needs to be back at school at 10.

Damnitall.

Hear me now
Oh thou bleak and unbearable world,
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!
I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of La Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow.
Whithersoever they blow,
Onward to glory I go!

I'm Sancho! Yes, I'm Sancho!
I'll follow my master till the end.
I'll tell all the world proudly
I'm his squire! I'm his friend!

Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!

I am I, Don Quixote,
The Lord of la Mancha,
My destiny calls and I go,
And the wild winds of fortune
Will carry me onward,
Oh whithersoever they blow!

So we had a meltdown today at lunch.
When I took his airplane away (after having asked and told him 7 times to take it back upstairs, I was trying to clean to get stuff ready for HIS birthday party. He turns 9 Saturday.) He freaked out. After the screaming and crying was done, he looked at me and said that he wished I would just go back to America.

Ouch.
Love it. .

Note to self: Playing with Gold leaf doesn't work if you haven't a fricking clue what you're doing.
I have forgotten how it works. And now, while it will stick to the paper, it wont stay on the paper. XD

Time for ye-olde email.

My day has not really been going well. Thats all you guys hear about, but those of you that actually read my journal know that I'm really just blowing off steam. It's my journal to vent in so that's what I'm going to do. This morning wasn't really good, since he broke several rules before I was even out of bed. (No TV in the morning, Getting dressed when we get out of bed Etc.) And he was eating his peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the white couch. In this house, food goes on a plate at the table. Not on the placemat, not on the couch not on the floor...On a plate. There are specific circumstances where that changes but they are rare. But he was sent off to school with breakfast inside him and an umbrella because it was raining.

So he doesn't get home until 1235, he gets off school at 12 and it only takes 10 minutes to walk home. He shuts the door (yay!) and comes upstairs. I'm in our bedroom and I am just fiddling around with my computer.
"Can I come in?" Not wanting to deal with prying him from my computer I say No.
"But I love you Diane"
"I love you too...what did you come upstairs for?" No responce "Collin what do you want?" No Responce. So i hear him go downstairs, and i hear him opening the sack of bread. I think Hey he's taking the initiative and making himself a sandwich! Yay! Celebrate! He's going to be 9, he can make himself a sandwich, especially when he really only wants butter and sprinkles.
He comes back upstairs a while later to play, and I go into his room to send him back to school.
"But I haven't had anything to eat..."
"What?"
"You didn't make me anything"
"I asked you what you wanted, and you said nothing...so you must not have wanted anything"
"But..."
"I know you can make yourself a sandwich. I've seen you do it. I know you can"
"But..."
"But you need to go back to school"
"Can I take an apple with me?"
"Yes"

And he goes back to school...without the umbrella since he broke it between school and home. 2 spines are broken. I don't know what he did with it (He says he didn't do anything) . But what's funny is now I feel insanely guilty for not feeding him. For not having lunch ready on the table for him when he got home. I am not a lousy step mom for that. He's almost 9 thats not to young. I should not feel guilty.

How do I fix the computer when the install disk that i have i do not see a disk repair utility at all?
Disk I was sent didn't work.

The hell am i supposed to do now, with the thrice daily crashes and random other problems.

I'm never going to buy a mac again if this keeps up!!

Today went almost exactly as I had expected. I got a kiss and a "Happy Valentines Day" from Richard and together we made lasagna.

There were 2 things today that did not go as I'd expected.
The first was at about 9AM or so we hear a knock on the door. Boy. Then shortly after we hear
"papa?" when responded to through the door boy says "ik heb ontbijt voor je gemaakt." Which means..."I've made breakfast for you." Richard and I exchange looks and in comes boy with a pair of breakfast sandwiches with chocolate sprinkles and 2 cups of Orange juice.


The Second thing that was entirely unexpected was this...

I'm laying in bed, after breakfast and I hear a thud. Richard was going downstairs, and then I heard a Yelp and "FUCK!" Any of those by themselves is not always a bad thing, but always is responded to by a "You ok down there?" All three together in a short amount of time is ALWAYS a bad thing. Yeah. Having slammed his foot into the little barrier at the bottom of the door between the hallway and the bathroom, Richard had in fact broken his toe. It's a lovely shade of violet all the way around and quite swollen. There will be photos. It's plain to me that it is broken, but there's nothing you can do for a broken toe even if you go to the doctor and get it seen.

Love it.

I don't hate it as far as the concept of the holiday goes. Celebrate love.
I think that is a great and noble thing to do. Love.
I dislike the degree of commercialism that the holiday usually has.

So why does it upset me that I know nothing's going to happen tomorrow special because they don't celebrate valentines day in this country. It comes and it goes and no-one really pays it any mind.
I've never really had a valentines day that I remember. I believe I recall recieving roses once. Nothing really memorable, or romantic. This is the first one that i'll have been married for though. That's special. But romance....

I want that every so often. I feel its lack. Don't get me wrong its not like I don't get romanced. Richard did come home with flowers a couple of weeks ago. He's such a sweet thing. I'm so glad I married him.

So everyone, celebrate those you love tomarrow. Go out and do something special, bring him/her a rose. Surprise him/her with dinner. Bring him/her breakfast in bed. Some of you might even spare a thought for me. I know I'll be thinking of you. Miss you.

My latest project. You like it?